She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
how drunk are you?
Several
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
