Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
