Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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