I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
