Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
