i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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