Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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