her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
