i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
