I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Boobs speak an international language.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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