Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
