Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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