His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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