So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
