kristin has been a bad kristin
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
