i permit you to call me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
