Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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