thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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