oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We left the knife in your bed.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
