You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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