There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
