i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
