who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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