its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Come on in and take your pants off
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