My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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