ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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