I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
