Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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