it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
