The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize