btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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