It's like God shit irony all over that family
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
