Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
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We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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