I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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