I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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