I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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