Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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