the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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