yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
