Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
