How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
