dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
