no you cant smoke seaweed
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
