Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
someone owes me an orgasm
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
