My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just high enough for therapy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
