Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
