I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
