so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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