You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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