I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
