This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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