i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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