Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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