But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
