I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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