I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
