Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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