check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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