i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
