Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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