I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
