My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
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