This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
