There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
