ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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